NYC Midnight - Challenge 3

This was written for the NYC Midnight Challenge #3 - 1000 words or less in 48 hours

Genre: Open

Location: Garbage Dump

Object: Laptop

TITLE: The last day of his life

BRIEF SYNOPSIS: On what he’s decided will be the last day of his life, Gerard muses about what went wrong, and how he can fix it.

Gerard picked up yet another dirty milk jug and put it into his plastic bag. Being at the Santa Maria dump didn’t bother him so much anymore; the mounds of rubbish, the stench, he was used to it now. After several months of rag-picking, he’d finally settled on “working” here – it made him the most money. He got here every afternoon, shortly after the dump trucks made their deposits. He had his routine; he’d sift through the trash, collect everything he thought was valuable, then deliver the goods to Shorty. He didn’t care what Shorty did with the junk – sold it or sent it to the recycling center – as long as he got his money.

How had he come to this point? Gerard ran his hands through his matted, graying hair, side-stepping a dirty diaper. He wore a torn t-shirt, covered by an old tweed jacket, and his pants had threads hanging. Just a year ago, he had everything – a beautiful family, friends, and a stable job teaching high school Chemistry. Yet today was going to be the last day of his life.

What if he hadn’t met John that fateful Friday? He’d had a stressful week at work, and it was just one joint. But John had got busted that night, and Gerard’s name was in all the papers alongside his. His testimony had ruined Gerard – they did not bring charges against him, but the school let him go, and they made sure he’d never find a teaching job again. A bad influence, they’d said. What else could he do? All he’d ever wanted to do was spread his love of science, try and influence young minds to embrace the mysteries of atoms and molecules.

He’d tried – he really had. But everybody in his small town knew him, and no one was willing to give him a break. He had no money, and shortly after his health insurance expired, Lily got sick.

Gerard shook his head. He couldn’t think of that now. He was finally going to do right by his family. His annual life insurance premium was paid for till the end of this month. If he was to do anything worthwhile, now was the time. He put his gloved hand into his jacket pocket. He’d seen it on TV. Suicide by Police, they’d called it. All he had to do was go to the nearest police station, and aim his hairbrush at the cops. He was an unshaven 6’2” black man with bloodshot eyes. The cops would shoot first and ask questions later. And Mary would get $25,000 from the life insurance company. It was the right thing to do – she was young, she’d find somebody else who would take care of her. All he’d ever done was make her unhappy.

Gerard knew she must blame him. And she was right to – it was all his fault. He’d failed Lily. But today, he’d set things right. He’d be gone, Mary would get the money, and she’d be able to move out of this place; out of the shadow of humiliation he’d put her under.

Scanning the trash for more valuables, his eyes caught sight of something colorful peeking out from a Princess schoolbag atop a mound of stinking debris. Gerard opened the bag – it was a toy laptop – orange and blue, with a little plastic mouse dangling from it. His mind was whisked away to a day he’d tried hard to forget.

***

“I wish I had a computer.”

“What would you do with a computer, love?”

“I’d build a robot. To replace me, you know. To help you and Mom when you grow old. I wanted to be the perfect kid – to take care of you and always make you proud.”

Ignoring his wife’s crying in the background, Gerard hugged his ten-year old daughter. “You’ve always made us proud, and you’re going to be with us for a very, very long time, sweetheart. But you could always build us a robot if you want to. I can always use the help,” he said, smiling through the tears.

“Dad, I know you did your best, but we have no insurance. It’s not your fault. At least you have one another. Keep each other strong after I’m gone, alright?”

“Don’t talk like that. I’ll get you that chemo, don’t you worry about it. I’ll knock on every door I can. I’ll beg if I have to, I promise.”

He knocked, begged and pleaded. But he got caught in an unending loop of paperwork, and while they waited, the cancer progressed quickly and spread. His Lily wilted and then passed away on a gray autumn evening. “It’s Gerard’s fault,” they whispered. He believed it.

***

Keep each other strong after I’m gone.

Without thinking, Gerard picked up the toy laptop, and started walking. Out of the dump and onto the road. Before he knew it, he was standing at his little girl’s grave. Bending down amidst the wild flowers that had grown there, he placed the toy near her headstone, and said a little prayer. Then, wiping away a tear, Gerard reached into his pocket and threw the hairbrush away. “I’ll keep your Mom strong, sweetheart. I guess I won’t be meeting you today, but whenever the Lord decides it’s my time.” Then he picked up a single daffodil and headed home.

Mary didn’t even look at him when he opened the door. That was the way it was these days, they were strangers living under the same roof. He walked over to her and handed her the flower silently.

“From Lily’s…?” she asked, her voice hoarse.

He nodded. “I went by.”

Sobbing, she slumped into his arms, and his own tears fell fast, like the dam holding them in had broken. They cried together for a few minutes before he broke away.

“It’s going to be okay,” he said. “We’re going to get through this together.”

Far away, a little angel smiled.